Tom Bowden is a bike commuter from Richmond VA, a “suit” – a corporate lawyer with an MBA, and a conservative – You betcha! He is also a board member of BikeWalk Virginia, a pro cycling and pedestrian group in Virginia that raises raises money to promote cycling, walking and active lifestyles. Tom’s lawyerly blogging can be found at http://vabizlawyers.com/author/tbowden/
Everyone knows that liberals love bike lanes, right? So Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) must be the exception that proves that rule. It has recently come to light, that Sen. Schumer has a particular dislike for these popular, low-cost modifications of existing infrastructure. It seems he and his wife have been pulling strings and meeting behind closed doors, off the record and not for attribution, with the ultimate goal of rolling back some of NYC’s controversial bike lanes, in particular, the one that runs down Prospect Park West, and right past their front door.
Unfortunately, we were not privy to the details of those conversations, but here are the top 10 Reasons why Sen. Schumer might detest bike lanes:
- Limousine can’t pull up the curb, requiring extra walking of at least three steps per day.
- That darn Ray LaHood likes them, and he’s a Republican, therefore Schumer must hate them.
- No place for limo driver to stand while he holds the door open.
- One of those crazy cyclists could crash into the limo door! Do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of Connolly leather?
- They just don’t cost enough to justify holding Senate hearings.
- Bikes are just too quiet – can’t fall asleep without the peaceful sounds of taxis and trucks and horns blaring all night long.
- Traffic-related injuries are down and overall population health increasing. If this trend continues, it will be that much harder to save Obamacare.
- Haven’t yet figured out a way to impose CAFE fuel efficiency standards – there’s really no way to effectively regulate the darn things. (Not that his wife, Iris Weinshall, isn’t trying.)
- That bike lane in front of the Schumer residence is precisely where the new moat was going to go.
- The most dangerous place in New York is a bike lane… between Sen. Schumer and a microphone.
Ted Johnson contributed to this article (the parts that didn’t make you mad).