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Getting the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ to Bike to the Oscars

by Ted Johnson

Like many people, my dear mother loves celebrities. She loves reading about them, looking at them, talking about them, reading about other people talking about looking at them.

Ask her to name the mayor of her city, I’m not sure if she could (and not because Tibshraeny is hard to pronounce). Ask her who the ex-husband of Sandra Bullock has been tweeting lately, and she just might know. (Even if she isn’t certain what tweeting is, it certainly sounds salacious.)

Bradley Cooper in red carpet Oscar ride-up? | Philly.comSo it was Mom who I thought of when I read my name alongside the names of celebrities Bradley Cooper, Jonah Hill, Rooney Mara, Michelle Williams, Brad Pitt, and Bret McKenzie.

Not just on some dumb bike blog. (Clearly any fool can make that happen.) But on a real publication: Philly.com, in the Movies section, in an article written by respected film critic and cyclist, Steven Rea.

I can’t wait to tell her.

And she could tell you (if you didn’t know already) that the list of celebrities includes the reigning and previously reigning “Sexiest Man Alive.” More importantly (to me, anyway) is that those celebrities are all cyclists.

Steven Rea, you may recall, has published a new photo book, Hollywood Rides a Bike, which is available now.

And he is helping me in my efforts to find and Oscar nominee, presenter, or guest who will ride a bike to the Academy Awards this year.

So far, no one’s committed to his Academy Awards ceremony cycling idea – and admittedly it’ll be more of a challenge for the women arriving in designer gowns and $100,000 baubles than for menfolk who can simply put a trouser clip on their tuxedo pants – but Johnson is drumming up support for his campaign.

Drumming up support. Right. I have talked to a few people who know people who know people. But my connections to star power are tenuous. When I play the Six Degrees of Separation game starting with myself, I can get within two degrees of Slobodan Milošević. (I know someone who testified against him). Not exactly a connection to fame I can leverage for this Oscars thing.

What I’ve found out is, in order to pull this off, I need to be chummy with someone called a publicist. If not chummy, I need to arrange to ride an elevator with one and have a very compelling pitch on the tip of my tongue. Having a giant pannier full of cash would help too.

There are no such elevators or opportunities where I am in Flagstaff, Arizona. I have access to lots of panniers, but none are presently full of cash. I looked.

So, on Rea’s advice, I wrote my pitch (minus the snark) and put it in a PDF. You can download it here. If you know a publicist or celebrity, or if you even know where those magic elevators are, feel free to pass it on.

Hi Mom!

 
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5 Responses to “Getting the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ to Bike to the Oscars”

  1. If you need some fancy bikes, I own a shop that sells tuxedo and ball gown friendly bikes in Los Angeles. I’d be happy to loan some stylish, European-style, bikes, for free, if they were actually going to be used to ride to the Oscars.

  2. Jennifer says:

    I live in the city of so called “magic elevators” but I have yet to ride in one. However, I love this cause (it’s close to my heart). So maybe if I can decipher those dang twitter tweets, I can figure out where I need to go to pass out your printed PDF file. ;) I think getting a few celebs cycling to the Oscars would be a great way to promote cycling (and a great article to post on, say, a blog.)

    Oh, and for the Oscar women, they could wear shorter dresses to avoid chain grease, or their gowns getting caught up in their tire. Because that just ain’t pretty.

  3. merlin says:

    The women just need sensible bikes like everyone rides in Europe, with skirt guards and built-in chair guards.

  4. Hey Ted,

    This is one of the coolest things I’ve come across and I needed to let you know. Like you, I’m a cycling blogger and passionate about the bike and I see and hear a lot of different stories about our industry and community. But this story totally caught my eye and I’m so proud of you for getting this started. I sure do hope someone gets hold of this and at least one celebrity shows up on a bike.

    I saw the story today and promoted it on our website as well and I’ll be watching on Sunday to see if you were able to make it happen. Be sure to let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help you out in this one.

    Darryl

  5. I think the 2012 sexiest man alive is Bradley Cooper. He is really cool.

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