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Congress Fixes Typos and Passes Five-Year Transportation Bill

by Ted Johnson

UPDATE: If you are discovering this article after April Fools Day 2012, now you know what’s going on here.


After approving a three-month extension to the multi-year surface transportation bill, SAFETEA-LU, Congress met in a special session on Friday to revisit — and ultimately approve — the Senate version of the Transportation Bill.

The House of Representatives had initially rejected the Senate transportation bill which was intended to include federal investments in bicycling and walking programs, but contained several typographical errors that were not immediately recognized.

Bike Lane at the US CapitolCongress hastily approved a five-year Transportation Bill after several typographical errors were corrected.

“Damn you, autocorrect!” said Congressman John Mica (R – FL), deflecting the criticism from congressional staff and clerks, who often draft legislation on mobile devices such as iPhones.

When I opposed the bill, it included funding for biting and waltzing. Although I occasionally enjoy both of these pastimes, there is no Constitutional authority for funding these activities.  I thought my esteemed colleagues in the Senate had gone mad. Of course, of course we want to fund programs for biking and walking. With the health, safety, mobility, energy, and infrastructure needs of our country, who would be foolish enough to oppose these common sense programs?

Rep. Gregory Meeks (D-NY) initially objected to removing references to local control of funds for “bilking projects,” even after it became clear that that too was a typo. “It’s still a good idea, and I intend to support bilking legislation again in the future.”

The bill will be sent to President Obama, who is expected to sign the legislation into law. Robert Gibbs, Press Secretary for the President issued a statement which said, in part, “Sometimes the most bitter disputes are the result of simple misunderstandings. We are pleased that even the Say Newt’s A Fool program gained bipartisan support.”

 
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7 Responses to “Congress Fixes Typos and Passes Five-Year Transportation Bill”

  1. Tom Bowden says:

    And all along I thought it was funding for St. Brewster’s School that was causing all the right wing objections on 1st Amendment grounds. Oh well-never mind.

  2. Shawn McAfee says:

    Funny! This country needs more spending on bicycle and walking infrastructure. There are too many highways already.

  3. Ken R. says:

    Hooray for saving biking and walking programs. But fans of the Food Network and Lawrence Welk will be so disappointed to lose “biting and waltzing.” And poor Sgt. Bilko!

  4. BluesCat says:

    Ah, it’s wonderful. That Republicans can finally come to their senses on the first day of April … wait a minute … aw, yer really cold, Ted!

  5. Jhon says:

    Seriously, our nations most important documents are written on iPhones? -sad

  6. BluesCat says:

    Jhon – Naw, MOST of the documents on the Democratic side of the aisle are written in finger paints; on the Republican side of the aisle it’s crayon.

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